Baby! |
Birth Story: Tuesday morning - at the hospital |
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We went up to the Women's Center and they put me into a room so they could do the non-stress test. At that point, Dr. Smith came in and introduced herself to me. I thought that was very nice, until she said that the reason that she had come was because the ultrasound results showed some reason for concern. That's when my panic started, and honestly, I'm not sure that my memory of what happened next will be very accurate. It is all kind of a blur. She knew (because of her earlier discussion with Cat) that I really didn't want an induction. She asked me why, and I explained the cascade of intervention leading to C-section. She wanted to do the test again, herself, because she had a lot of experience doing them at her previous appointment. I can't remember exactly when she said this, but she said, "Under no circumstances should you leave the hospital without your baby." She also kept saying that the results were 'worrisome'. She asked me what I had had to eat that day, and I told her that I had had a SlimFast on the way over. I thought she was asking so she could guess at how it would have affected the baby's movements, but now I know that she was asking so she'd know if the anesthesia for C-section would be a problem. That's how concerned she was that the baby might have to come out NOW. I was so worried about the baby that I actually suggested doing a C-section! All I cared about was getting him out as quickly as possible. After redoing the biophysical profile, she was not reassured, but the non-stress test looked good, and was the only thing that kept me from being sent to surgery right away. Wow, as I am trying to write this, I am finding that I have very little ability to reconstruct it. I was so scared. Travis said that he has never seen me so scared. I was shaking uncontrollably, and crying, and clutching Travis. Someone knocked on the door and said that there was a 'Delia' there to see
me, but that she had said that she would leave if I didn't want to see her.
She knew that I hadn't wanted anyone at the hospital, but wanted me to know
that she was there if I needed her. I started crying even more, and said that
she could come in. She had come because of my email, and she just want to be
the commiserator. She knows us very well, and knew that Travis would be reassuring
me and being very positive, and she knew that I would want someone there to
just agree with me that the situation was awful. She was offering to be that
person. She was right, I did really need that, and I was so glad that she came,
and offered to be there or to leave, as I preferrred. She handled it perfectly. The nurse that had brought me in, Mary Ellen, was incredibly reassuring during this time. As we put on the monitors for the non-stress test, the baby kicked several times, which made me feel so much better. I could feel it, and everyone could hear it, due to the monitor. Mary Ellen kept telling me what a good sign that was, and that he's fine in there. She had asked us earlier what his name was, and we told her that we were thinking about Alexander. She kept talking to him and calling him by name. She said, at some point, 'See, he's fine in there! If he gets the hiccups, we'll know that he's healthy. Sick babies don't get hiccups!' Sure enough, shortly afterwards, he started hiccuping. She was so excited, and ran out to tell Cat. That made me feel so much better. Earlier, she had explained the non-stress test to me, and showed me that he was showing plenty of 'accelerations'. They are supposed to have their heart rate accelerate three times in 10 minutes, and his was four or five times every 10 minutes. She was the one that started my IV, which I remember as being the worst part of the entire labor. Not because it hurt that much, though it hurt a lot more than I had been led to believe, but because that was the sign that everything was going wrong. Sometime in that time, Cindy and Molly (the other two midwives) stopped by to check on me. Looking back, I must assume that they were at the hospital anyway, but at the time I felt that they had come just to see me and offer their support. It meant a lot to me. Cindy said that she knew that people said that Pitocin makes the labor harder,
but that they had done studies and had been unable to prove that to be true.
There is no real way to measure pain, so all studies were inconclusive. The
reactions that Pitocin produces in your body are the same as those that Oxytocin
(the natural version) does, so really it should be no different. Whether or
not that is true, I decided to believe it, because it made me less afraid. Read Next: Tuesday afternoon - induction |